Here is part 1 of “Leaving so soon?” and it contains no birth story, just a simple explanation of why we are returning to the States for a few months.
If you’d like to hear more about Caroline’s birth and why this solidified our decision to have baby #4 in the U.S., read on. Don’t worry it’s not a graphic birth story, just some of the incidents that helped us make our decision.
One of our first visits with my Indonesian OBGYN, we asked if Matt could be present in the O.R. with me. The doctor said that traditionally that is not the case but since we are “bule” (foreigners) it would be allowed. Unfortunately, this did not happen. As they were wheeling me in to the O.R. for my anesthetics they told Matt that he was not allowed to join me, leaving me slightly frightened and him more than worried.
Once in the O.R. things went smoothly at first. Caroline was delivered within just 20 minutes. I met her, saw them weigh her and had a quick snuggle before they took her to get cleaned up. But I noticed that it was taking a while to sew me up. The doctors didn’t tell me anything and I remember looking at the clock and noticing that at least 25 minutes had passed since Caroline arrived. They should be done soon, I thought.
The next thing I know I wake up in a room full of 20+ beds with no one around me. No Matt. No Caroline. No nurses nearby. I look at the clock and realize 2 hours have passed. I realize they must have put me under general anesthetic (without telling me) and something must have gone wrong. Due to horomones, confusion, and fear I began crying and asking “Di mana bayimu?” (Where is my baby?) because I don’t know enough Indonesian to ask all the other questions going on in my head. A nurse politely told me to be patient and wait.
30 minutes later they brought me to my room where Matt was waiting. They wheeled Caroline in after that. During my 2 hours in the recovery room, Matt got a glimpse of Caroline as they wheeled her out of the O.R. and down the nursery. They did not tell him what was going on or let him spend those 2 hours bonding with Caroline.
My OBGYN came in for a follow up later that day while Matt was picking up Eleanor and Laurel to come and meet Caroline. He told me that the complication was due to my previous C-Sections. My uterus had adhered to my abdominal wall. This didn’t affect delivery but closing up they had to un-adhere them and do some extra stitching. He told me I shouldn’t have any more babies because that is likely to happen again. I would just like to point out that he told me this just hours after I was under on general anesthetic, on some heavy pain meds, and my husband wasn’t. By the time Matt arrived with the girls, I couldn’t remember what exactly the doctor had told me. Luckily he told me again when I was discharged 2 days later.
All in all, I’m thankful that myself and Caroline were healthy but I would not like to go through any of that again. I will stick with a doctor that I trust who will communicate with me clearly (and in my own language) and where I feel comfortable and safe.